I haven’t thought of such things and it doesn’t even bother me what’s the explanation of those things. I can’t stop myself from laughing (and I know, all of my seatmates here are so annoyed of me now). But, as I was reading this article, I was laughing all throughout. Now, all I can say is that English is really such a crazy language. But when I read this article, I was amazed by how English too can be so wrong. I know that whenever I speak in English, there would be something wrong in my grammar. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.Īnd why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.Įnglish was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage (as compared to a horseless one) or a strapful gown (as opposed to a strapless)? Met a sung hero ("unsung") or experienced requited ("unrequited) love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?ĭoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger neither apple nor pine in pineapple. Let's face it - English is a crazy language.